At least there weren't any pirates or ninjas

You might remember my experiment with using team mascots as the sole criteria for picking winners in the NCAA basketball tournament.

Well, my cunningly conceived system failed miserably. I finished dead last, behind someone who seemingly flipped a coin to determine the game outcomes.

A bulldog beating up a jaguar? Not bloody likely. You know, if nature worked this way, we'd all still be protozoa floating around in the primordial ooze.

Hypothesis disproven; back to the drawing board.