Is a golden eagle tougher than a regular one?

Here it is, Monday morning, and I find myself filling out the brackets on my company's NCAA basketball pool.

Since I know less than nothing about basketball, I have devised an ingenious system for determining the winner of each game. I take the mascot for each school, and decide who would win in a battle to the death.

Portland State versus Kansas? Well, the latter may be a "no-brainer" favorite, but let me tell you: a Viking will kick the shit out of a Jayhawk any day of the week. Xavier against Georgia? You have to go with a well-trained Musketeer over the unwieldy Bulldog.

There are a few schools that seemingly chose intentionally ambiguous names just to throw me off. For example, Stanford's team is apparently known as "The Cardinal" (referring to the color, not the bird or the Catholic posting). And they're playing the "Big Red" of Cornell. Since it's hard to figure out who would win in an epic clash between two shades of red, I went with Cornell because they at least have a cool-ass bear on their logo.

Despite this, I anticipate a 97% accuracy rate.