Friday, January 27, 2006

I'm still alive! (sort of...)

It's been a long month so far.

I spent two weeks making business trips to Cleveland, which took a lot out of me. I contracted some kind of government-engineered super-virus that gave me a terrible cough -- I've had it for two weeks now, but it's finally going away. It's weird, I get sick almost every time I fly cross-country. I guess it's just the huge mass of people carrying bugs from all over the place, though my co-worker says it's all psychosomatic. Yeah, dude, how about I leave a sample of what I've been coughing up for the last few days in your desk drawer.

Which brings me to another point... I hate flying. I'm not a nervous flyer, but there's really nothing worse than being crammed in a tiny seat for three hours next to a smelly fat guy and in front of a kid with restless leg syndrome. Our "near miss" in Minneapolis (where the pilot pulled up at about 100 feet because there was a plane on the runway) didn't do much to endear me to the wonders of modern air transportation.

The highlight of my trip (aside from eating on the company's dime) was definitely the head flight attendant coming back from Cleveland. He was a gentleman of about 50, and he had a pretty good sense of humor for someone who spends every day in a cramped metal tube. Some choice quotes:

"Welcome to flight 815, service to Spokane with continuing service to... Hayden, Colorado? Wherever that is."

"For a limited time only, any passenger who brought homemade cookies for the flight crew will get free drinks for the remainder of the flight." (Someone actually did have cookies, and got a bottle of wine out of the deal.)

"We hope you enjoyed your flight with us today. We realize that you have a vast selection of bankrupt airlines to fly with, and we appreciate that you chose ours."